His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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