So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
