Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize