Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
