You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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