Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
