I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
