And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
