I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
