one word: firstdatebathroomanal
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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