new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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