I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
