dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
