i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
