got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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