did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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