Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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