I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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