my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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