what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
