i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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