Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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