people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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