he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
