oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I need a beard to bite.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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