About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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