I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
