butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Also, beer. Big fan.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize