doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
