I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
last night I used snow as a chaser
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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