You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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