It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
