it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
