In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
