With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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