All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
