She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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