Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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