Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
