Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
