talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
