your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
