i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
