Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we made out on top of his cat.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize