Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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