im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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