after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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