How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
