My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
