you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
