hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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