Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
