So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
