It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
