went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize