i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
All I want is dick and wine.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
