I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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