Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
