Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
