i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
