Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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