My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
